![]() What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang letters. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. The scout leader says, “But that snake is venomous. The boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror. A Boy Scout asks his scout leader, “Sir, is this snake poisonous?” The scout leader looks at it and says, “No, that snake’s not poisonous at all.” So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him. I got mugged by a cobra once when I was walking through the park. Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?” Patient: “Yes. Whenever you ask her whose fault was it, she goes “HISSSSSSSSSS.” 42. What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A “Pi”-thon. The jellyfish says, “This is impossible.” 40. A jellyfish, a snake, and a snail walk into a bar. Go forth! And multiply!” The snakes stared at him in confusion. “Why are you still here?” he asked in surprise. After the flood, satisfied his work was done, Noah was inspecting the ark one last time when he came across a pair of snakes. The drummer and pet shop owner are very sad now. ![]() A drum set and a snake falls off a cliff. Why can’t a snake rob a bank? Because they are unarmed. What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a snake? A jump rope. A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff. Nobody wants to listen to White Snake with me. What is a snake’s favorite school subject? Hisstory. What do snakes do when they get angry? They throw hissy fits. What’s a snake’s favorite dance? The snake, rattle, and roll. Why should you never use a snake as a boomerang? Because it will always come back to bite you. What do you call an important English snake? Sir Pent. What is another word for a python? A mega-bite. What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane? A Boeing constrictor. What did the snake say to the loud children at the library? “Ssssss.” 26. What did the snake give her boyfriend? A goodnight hiss. Why do snakes always measure in inches? Because they don’t have feet. The bartender says, “How did you do that?” 23. What type of snake does a baby like to play with? A rattlesnake. Who is a snake’s favorite author? William Snakespeare. Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssssssside. What did the Mommy snake say to the Baby snake? “Please stop crying and viper your nose.” 19. What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent. How can you rescue a snake that looks dead? With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation. Which snake is a member of a rock band? A rattlesnake. Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief? Because he wanted his diamondback. Why are snakes so hard to fool? They have no legs to pull. What do married snakes have on their bath towels? “Hiss,” and “Herss.” 12. What do you call a funny snake? Hissssssterical. What do you call a snake that bakes? A pie-thon. What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food? Snakes and Larders. How does a snake shoot something? With a boa and arrow. What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra. How do venomous snakes kill their prey? In cold blood. What do you call a snake that builds things? A boa constructor. What is a snake’s favorite TV show? Monty Python. What do snakes use to clean their car windows? Windscreen vipers. RELATED: 50+ Facts Way Scarier Than Snakes (Which Are Super-Cool)īecause it makes them viperactive. ![]() Looking for more animal jokes for kids? We got you covered with a whole veritable zoo of jokes about cows, pigs, owls, giraffes, fish, farm, dogs, and so many more! ![]() Obviously, you should also follow up with a Harry Potter marathon. Luckily for you, we’ve gone ahead and rounded up the cutest snake jokes and threw in a few Slytherin jokes for good measure. But if this doesn’t happen, we do have a jungle of jokes to help diversify their animal interest. Or maybe they’ll get so tired of all of your snake jokes they’ll just lose interest altogether and want a kitten. This does not mean buying them a snake, but you can support them with some funnies in the form of snake puns and jokes! And just maybe they’ll love the puns more than an actual python, but we can only hope. Got a kid into creepy crawlers going through a snake phase? Are they begging you to play videos all about pythons and boa constrictors? Are you trying to suppress your debilitating childhood snake phobia before it rears its head? Our thoughts and prayers, mama but it may be time to encourage your cutie’s new zoology interest. ![]()
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